शीला की जवानी

'शीला की जवानी' गीत का भावार्थ- एक महान शोध विचारक की हृदय-उद्वेलित व्याख्या !!!

प्रस्तुत उत्तेजक गीत हिन्दी फिल्म जगत के नवीनतम रत्न 'तीस मार खान' से लिया गया है. यह गाना नायिका के संगमरमर जैसे शरीर से आकर्षित होने वाले लंगोट के ढीले पुरुषों पर नायिका की अपमानजनक प्रतिक्रया को व्यक्त करता है. नायिका उन्हें सीधे और कटु शब्दों में बताना चाहती है कि शीशे के पीछे रसगुल्ले की ख्वाहिश करना एक बात है और उसे चखना दूसरी बात!

I know you want it
But you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
Maane na maane koi duniya
Yeh saari, mere ishq ki hai deewani


गीत का आरंभ में नायिका के सत्य निष्ठ एवम ईमानदारीपूर्ण वक्तव्य से होती है. वो जानती है कि इन पुरूषों को उसकी भावनाओं, हृदय एवं प्रेम से कोई सरोकार नहीं. वो तो केवल एक ही वस्तु चाहते हैं. पर वो उन्हें मिलने वाली नहीं. उन्हें मुंह में भर आये पानी से ही अपनी प्यास बुझानी होगी. दुर्भाग्यपूर्ण, परन्तु सत्य !!!!.

Hey hey, I know you want it
but you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
Maane na maane koi duniya
yeh saari Mere ishq ki hai deewani
Ab dil karta hai haule haule se
Main toh khud ko gale lagaun
Kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya
Main toh khud se pyaar jataun


नायिका पुनः दर्जनों पुरुषों में उसके प्रति जागृत वासना पर प्रकाश डालती है. वस्तुतः वह अपने आस-पास मंडराते छिछोरों को सूचित करती है कि उनकी दाल नहीं गलने वाली! परन्तु साथ ही यहाँ नायिका के व्यक्तित्व का एक और पक्ष उजागर होता है. सौंदर्य से जागृत अहंकार का पक्ष!. वो अपनी सुन्दरता से इतनी प्रभावित है कि उसे किसी पुरुष की आवेश्यकता नहीं. वह अपने अन्दर की स्त्री के लिए स्वयं ही पुरुष बन जाना चाहती है. अब इसे अहंकार की पराकाष्ठा कहें या आत्म-प्रेम की मादकता!!!

what's my name
what's my name
what's my name
My name is Sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani
Na na na sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani


अब नायिका स्वयं का परिचय देती है. अपना नाम बताती है. और नाम भी ऐसा जो बूढ़ी नसों के लिए वायाग्रा का स्राव करे. उनमें यौवन का झंझावात एवं ज्वार ला दे. नाम बताने के साथ वो यह भी बताती है कि वो बहुत ही अधिक मादक एवं सेक्सी है. वात्सल्य एवं मादकता पर उसका अपने मुंह मियाँ मिट्ठू बनना एवमं कोरे गर्व से अभिभूत होना कितना न्यायोचित है??. इस आत्म-प्रशंसा में भी अहंकार की गंध है. वह स्वयं को को इतना अधिक मादक वर्णित करती है कि वह सबकी पहुँच से बाहर है. एक ऐसे चन्द्रमा की तरह है जिसकी चांदनी तो सर्व उपलब्ध है, पर उस चन्द्रमा को स्पर्शमात्र भी असंभव है तथा उसे अनूभव एवं महसूस करना किसी के बस की नहीं. स्पष्तः, यहाँ यह परि लक्छित होता है है कि नायिका सौंदर्य की साधक ही नहीं, बल्कि अहंकार से भरी चुड़ैल भी है.

Take it on
Take it on
Take it on
Take it on


अब नायिका सीधे शब्दों में चुनौती देती है. एक ऐसी चुनौती जो संभवतः मर्दों में बिना मदिरा के भी पोरूष बल तथा परम साहस ला दे.
Silly silly silly silly boys
O o o you're so silly
Mujhe bolo bolo karte hain
O o oHaan jab unki taraf dekhun,
baatein haule haule karte hain
Hai magar, beasar mujh par har paintra


अब नायिका उनका उपहास करती है. उन्हें मूर्ख कहकर सम्भोधित करती है. उन्हें ज़लील करती है. वो मर्द नायिका के बारे में गुप-चुप बातें कर सकते हैं, पर उसके सामने जुबां नहीं खोल पाते. वासना और कायरता का ये अद्भुत संगम है.

Haye re aise tarse humko
Ho gaye sober se re
Sookhey dil pe megapan ke
teri nazariya barse re
I know you want it
but you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
SheelaSheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani
Na na na sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani


यहाँ अंततः वासना से मदहोश पुरुष कुछ बोलने की दुस- साहस जुटाते हैं. वह धीमे स्वर में अपनी इच्छा की अभिव्यक्ति करते हैं. वह बोलते हैं कि नायिका का फिसलती हुई मादक काया , उनके बंजर दिलों में प्रेम का अंकुर ला रहा है. मानो नायिका को उनकी असली इच्छा का पता ही नहीं. इसलिए वह उन्हें पुनः स्मारित करती है कि दिन में स्वप्नदर्शन छोड़ दें.
यह तथाकथित मादक एवं ख़ूबसूरत गीत आज ही नहीं, चिर काल से चली आ रही नर और नारी की कोरी मानसिकता को उजागर करता है. नारी हज़ारों घंटे श्रृंगार और व्यायाम में बिताकर इस लायक दिखती है कि पुरुष उस पर गिद्ध जैसी द्र्ष्टि डालें. परन्तु जब वो नज़रें डालते हैं तो नायिका उन्हें चूजा सिद्ध कर देती है. नर भी कम कुटिल नहीं!! अपितु वह नारी के शारीरिक आकर्षण के सामने स्वयं का आपा खो बैठते हैं. फलतः ,जब उद्द्वेलित वासना, शिखर पर होती है तो सहसा अप्रत्याशित रूप से ... साहस लुकाछिपी का खेल खेल रहा होता है!!! उपरोक्त के दृष्टिगत ऐसे में इस परकार के विशिष्ट महा मिलन हो भी तो कैसे हो?प्रश्न जटिल है!
इसी प्रश्न के साथ यह गीत श्रोताओं और दर्शकों (आम भाषा में छिछोरों )के मन में एक कसक/कुंठा छोड़ जाता है.
जिसका निराकरण उपरोक्त के द्रष्टिगत निकट भविष्य में संभव प्रतीत नहीं होना परि लक्छित है !!


अंततः हम सभी शोध कर्ता, सम्यक चर्चित विषय तथा छिछोरों के समस्याओं पर सम्यक वर्णित एवं विशिष्ट बुद्धिमत्ता पूर्वक, अति विचारणीय व्याख्या पर उस महान शोधार्थी को शत - शत नमन करते हैं ! !

Correct Way of Eating Fruit

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think It's important to know how and when to eat..

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! - FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

If you eat fruit on an empty stomach, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD - Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit.. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.

In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid.. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining - every time I eat water-melon I burp, when I eat durian (fruit from Asia with a foul smell yet delicious flavor) my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet etc. - actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes - all these will not happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans.. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste.

Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

KIWI: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

APPLE: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoid which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.

ORANGE: Sweetest medicine, eating 2 to 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.

WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.

GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can you believe this??

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Source : A mail from friend. Please confirm with other sources before any major changes in your food cycle

IDFC : Long Term Infrastructure Bonds open for 2011

[Update] IDFC bonds for 2011 is opened again on 21st Nov'2011 and closing date is 16th Dec'2011.
This year IDFC is offering interest rate of 9% on both the series.

Specific terms for each series of Tranche 1 Bonds ( details )

Series	1	2
Frequency of Interest payment	Annual	Cumulative
Face value (Rs) per Tranche 1 Bond	Rs. 5,000	Rs. 5,000
Issue Price (Rs) per Tranche 1 Bond	Rs. 5,000	Rs. 5,000
Buy-back facility	Yes	Yes
Buy-back amount	Rs5,000 per Tranche 1 Bond	Rs7,695 per Tranche 1 Bond
Buy-back intimation period	The period beginning not before nine months prior to the Buy-back Date and ending not later than six months prior to Buyback	The period beginning not before nine months prior to the Buy-back Date and ending not later than six months prior to Buyback
Tenor	120 months from the Deemed Date of Allotment	120 months from the Deemed Date of Allotment
Interest Rate	9% p.a.	N.A
Maturity Amount	Rs5,000 per Tranche 1 Bond	Rs11,840 per Tranche 1 Bond
Yield on maturity	9 %	9% compounded annually
Yield on Buyback	9 %	9% compounded annually

[Last Year]
As I specified about Long Term Infrastructure Bonds investment this financial year previously, IDFC has open the IPO for the same which is closing on 22nd October. IDFC is looking to raise up to 3,400 crore this financial year. The bonds come with a lock-in period of five years and a maturity of 10 years, which has been issued in 4 different series:

• Series 1 - Pays 8% interest annually.
• Series 2 - Pays 8% interest annually as well, but the interest will keep getting reinvested into the bond.
• Series 3 - Pays 7.5% interest annually, but comes with a buyback option.
• Series 4 - Pays 7.5% interest which gets reinvested into the bond, and comes with a buyback option.

Note, in series 3 and 4, Buyback option is available after "5 years + 1 day" from the deemed date of allotment.
GOI owns 20.08% in the company, so IMO it is very much safe for the investments. ICRA has given the IDFC bonds an LAAA rating, which is the highest rating that an infra bond can get.

Long Term Infrastructure Bonds

Union Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee had announced a new tax deduction (Section 80CCF) of 20,000 INR for investment made into special infrastructure related bonds in 2010-11 budget. Some of the key feaures and notification are as follow:

• This bonds will be called “Long Term Infrastructure Bond”
• Application can be by individual or HUF only but not by minor through Guardians.
• An Individual or HUF can invest Rs. 20,000/- in a Financial year to avail deduction under section 80CCF
• Rs. 20000/- limit is in addition to 100000/- limit of section 80C, 80CCC, 80CCD
• Tenure of the Bonds will be 10 Years.
• Lock-in period is 5 years, after 5 years investor can withdraw money from the bonds
• After lock-in period, Investor can take loan against these Bonds.
• Self attested PAN copy of 1st holder is compulsory.
• Bonds are not tax free. Interest is taxable in the hands of investor. But no TDS will be deducted from interest.
• Demat is compulsory. Joint holders can apply as per same order of Demat a/c . Application without demat a/c details will be rejected.
• Minimum Application  amount is Rs 5000/- & multiples there off for each option.
• Maximum benefit to an investor shall be Rs. 20,000/- under section 80CCF of the Income Tax Act, 1942

As of now, available offering in the section are from IFCI (Industrial Finance Corporation of India) & IDFC (Infrastructure Development Finance Corporation).

Fixed Deposits Interest rate comparison

Updated Regularly - Most Latest

Banks started increasing Interest Rates on the fixed deposits again.  Most of them are already effective if you open a new one. Here are the links to have a quick view:

• SBI
• ICICI
• HSBC
• Citibank
• HDFC
• Standard Chartered
• Axis
• IDBI
• Corporation Bank
• Syndicate Bank
• PNB Banks
• ING Vyasya - Kotak Mahindra

HSBC seems to be giving the highest interest as of now.

Other Sources: http://www.maduraidirectory.com/bandf/interest.php

File Income Tax yourself

It is time to file income tax for the last financial year. There are many online & offline services to file return on behalf of you just in exchange of 250-300 INR. However, people need to run behind them even after they file the tax for the acknowledgement and all, which takes quite time, though you free yourself from the hassle of financial complexity to understand Form-16 and information except salaried income, like income from other sources, short term gains, TDS (tax deducted at sources), income from Employee stocks options etc.

However, If you pay a little more attention to the article, you will find that filing Tax is not that complex either. Income Tax of India, provies xls utiilities supported by different Macros, which automatically do the validations for your inputs & provide a list of options for a certain fields with validate & non-validate information. Tax can be filed using this facilities in the following steps:

1. Open https://incometaxindiaefiling.gov.in/
2. Go to e-filling A.Y. 2010-11 => Individual, HUF
3. Go to "Download Return Preparation Software" section and download the relevant form e.g. ITR-1 for Salaried
4. Be ready with Form-16 (salary info, TAN, Employer info etc), TDS etc forms, if Any & PAN Card number
5. Fill up the excel and do the validation before moving to next sheet in the xls
6. Generate xml after validating all the fields.
7. Upload the XML to the same site.
8. A version of the IT return form will be given to you.
9. If form is not submitted with a valid digital signature, take a printout
10. Mail it to the CPC office, after putting
11. Check for a confirmation at given email id as well
12. Your acknowledgement will be mailed to you later.

Related:

Enabling Macro in xls : http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/excel-help/change-macro-security-settings-in-excel-HP010096919.aspx

Flight Data Recorder

While the search of black box is going on for the recently crashed flight in Mangalore, where 158 people got killed, I had curiosity, why this blackbox so important? I retrieved some information as follows.

Black Box in a flight, aka Flight Data Recorder (FDR) holds a store of data often crucial to air crash investigators looking to find the cause od a disaster or accident.

Why are they placed at the rear of the aircraft?

Putting them in the back of the aircraaft increases their chance of survival. The precise location of a black box depends on the individual plane. Typically, the tail of the aircraft is the last portion of the aircraft to impact.

How it is built?

Using three layers of materials, the crash survivable memory units (CSMU) in a solid state Black box insulates and protects the stack of memory boards that store the digitised information. To make sure CSMUs are strong they are subject to rigororous tests like crash impact, pin drop, static crush, fire test, deep sea submersion, salt water submersion & fluid immmersion etc.

What is the history?

One of the earliest and proven attempts at a data recorder was made by Francois Hussenot and Paul Beaudouin in1939 at the Marignane flight test center, France, with their type HB flight recorder. This was an essantially photograph based device, because record was made on a scrolling eight meters long by 88 mm wide photographic film. After its evolution, in 1960, after the crashof an aircraft at Mackay, the inquiry judge strongly recommended that flight recorders be installed in all airlines Ustralia the be came the first country in teh world to make cockpit-voice recording compulsory.

Source: DNA

On a dark and foggy night

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it.

There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind.

Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase “appraisal letter” on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body’s neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.

I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed…

My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying “no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death”… As a fellow worker in the same industry,

I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee’s name in the appraisal letter… Hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy’s name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name…. it was me who was dead there!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely,

I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind… Splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, “Wake up man! Come to meeting room. I have your appraisal letter ready”..

Déjà vu !!!

Source : email

Classic Exercises On Lateral Thinking - Solutions

SOLUTIONS [*questions]:

1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However, if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was traveling by ship. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on March 1st. The ship then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.

7. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

8. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets, etc.). This puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate mothers. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

9. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups--so the man no longer needed the water. The is a simple puzzle to state but a difficult one to solve. It is a perfect example of a seemingly irrational and incongruous situation having a simple and complete explanation. Amazingly this classic puzzle seems to work in different cultures and languages.

10. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

11. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

12. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

13. The answer is Charcoal.

14. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

ALTERNATE SOLUTIONS:

4. Because one of them did not necessarily celebrate their birthday on the day they were born, but celebrated later or earlier. Much simpler than having Mom giving birth while crossing the International Date Line and tossing in a Leap Year and the like. Needlessly complicated.

6. Because he was the one who put the poison in the punch. Of course he wouldn't drink any *after* he poisoned it. Who goes to the effort of making poison ice cubes, except Bond villains and those bad guys in the "Encyclopedia Brown" mystery stories we read in elementary school?

8. Because they were adopted. It's a coincidence they were born on the same exact day. OK, so Occam's Razor could be applied equally to both solutions...

Source: http://wilk4.com/humor/humore14.htm

Classic Exercises On Lateral Thinking - Questions

QUESTIONS:

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!" How can this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5.. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

6. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

7. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

Solutions in next blog.

Source: http://wilk4.com/humor/humore14.htm

don't press

Don't drink and drive

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

New tax slabs - Budget 2010-11

Greetings from our FM! Tax slabs are revised again this year resulting in paying less tax now.
"Over and above Rs 1 Lakh deduction on tax savings, an additional deduction of Rs 20% for investment in Long-Term Infrastructure Bonds would be allowed", Pranab Mukheree said.

--------------------------------------------
|  Males         |  Females       |  tax  |
--------------------------------------------
| Upto 1.6 L    | Upto 1.9 L   |  NIL |
| 1.6 L to 5 L  | 1.9 L to 5 L  |  10% |
| 5 L to 8 L     | 5 L to 8 L     |  20% |
| Above 8 L    | Above 8 L    |  30% |
--------------------------------------------

Few more links
http://in.budget.yahoo.com/2010/commentary
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/Tax/Tax-impact-for-resident-individuals-and-HUF/articleshow/5619497.cms

Your saving account will now earn more

Withdrawing a big amount from the saving account even a few days before the month end, results in loss in interest the month. Now Greetings for saving account holders from RBI (Reserve Bank of India), who announced on this Friday that banks should start calculating interest on daily basis for saving accounts effective from 01st April'10.

The move will enable saving account holders in earning better interest rates since banks currently calculate interest on these accounts on the lowest available balance from 11th and the last date of a month.

Though, earlier banks had urged RBI to postpone the move. Indian Banks Association chairman MV Nair had said "We requested them to either reduce the savings rate or postpone the implementation. It will affect our margins and profit"

RBI said in a notification "We advise that payment of interest on savings accounts may be made by banks on a daily product basis with effect from April 1", which also asks banks to ensure a smooth transition and work out the modalities in this regard.

Now, one point need to be noted here that, currently interest rates on saving accounts are de-regulated, barring up to Rs 2 lakh. The RBI only administer interest rates on saving bank deposits up to Rs 2 lakh, and for the deposits above this amount, banks are free to give any interest rates.

Source
http://beta.profit.ndtv.com/news/show/now-savings-accounts-to-earn-interest-on-daily-basis-26569

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius canceled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honor of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavored to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feast. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

Gantantra Divas ki Haardik Shubhkamnayein...

Kuch panktiyan ... bhartiya jawanon ko mera naman ...

Bhagwa Safed Hara
Jeevan chakra mera
Dharm, satya dharti ma
Sada bharatiya mein rahoo
Bharatiya mein jiya
Bharatiya hi mara
Bharatiya mein chala
Bharath kay liye chala
Bhagwa Safed Hara;
Jeevan chakra mera...

Hide your Facebook friend list from others

"I dumped my girlfriend last week, and she is visiting my Facebook & Orkut profile, and leaving wrong information to my friends by going through my friend list. What to do?" There may be many scenario like this, where you think your friend list must be private & hidden from other users / non-friends. One new feature launched in Facebook solves the problem.
Now you can hide your friend list from everyone who is not your friend. It can be done in few easy steps:

• Open your profile page
• Scroll down to your friend list section
• Click at the pencil icon there to edit
• Uncheck the box that says "Show Friend List to everyone.
• Done

These settings can be crossed checked in "Settings, then Privacy Settings".

One point need to be noted that you can't hide your friend-list from your friends.

New Post : http://timir126.blogspot.com/2011/06/facebook-friend-list-hide-from-others.html

Some humor

Arz kiya hai

Jeevan me kamyab hone ke liye 3 factory lagao !!!!
1) Dimag me Ice factory.
2) Zuban par Sugar factory.
3) Dil me Love factory. Phir life hogi satisfactory..

Ek din Sagar ne Nadi se pucha:
Kab tak milati rahogi mujhe khare pani se ???
Nadi ne haskar kaha :
Jab tak tujh me mithas na aa jaye tab tak !!!
Thats "RELATIONSHIP".

Dostana andaaz mein Mujh se kisi ne pucha,
Tum sabko email bhejhte ho ? Tumhe kya milta hai ?
Maine hass kar kaha, Dena Lena to Vyaapar hai,
Jo dekar kuch na mange, Wo hi to PYAR hai.

1 tree makes 1 Lakh matchsticks.
But 1 matchstick can burn 1 Lakh trees.
Similarly 1 negative thought or doubt can burn thousands of dreams....Be Positive Always !!!

Chehre ki hasi se har gam chupao,
Bahut kuch bolo par kuch na batao...
Khud na rutho kabhi, par sabko manao
Ye Raz hai Zindagi ka, Bas Jite chale jao

Wa prabhu kya leela teree :
Chuhe Billi se darte hai,
Billi Kutte se darte hai,
Kutta Aadmi se darte hai,
Aadmi Aurat se darta hai,
Aurat Chuhhe se darti hai.

Have you enabled Auto-Sweep?

Saving account is a special place for day to day transaction like ECS, salary, loan & credit card payments etc which keep money flowing bidirectional. It carries interest rate of 3% to 3.5%. The alternate way to gain higher interest rate has some schemes with some locking period, which are like PPF, NSC, LICs, bonds, Fix & recurring deposits and Mutual funds with market risks associated with it. Traditional fix deposits provide an interest rate of 6-7%.
But as major chunk of our money is kept in saving account attracting interest of only 3%, one can opt for a scheme which give benefit of Savings Account + Fix deposits, called Auto-sweep.

What is 'Auto Sweep'?
It is combination of saving & fixed deposit. It interlinks saving and deposit accounts.

How 'Auto Sweep' works?
A customer specifies the amount to be kept in the savings account or agrees to the minimum amount as decided by banks for auto sweep. An amount above this specified limit, called as threshold limit, is then automatically transferred to the customer’s fixed deposit account, which is attached to the savings account. Thus, the money does not remain idle in this arrangement and also earn a higher rate of return for the customer. Whenever the customer wants to withdraw money greater than what he/she has in the savings account, the excess is reverse-swept from his/her fixed deposit account. In this case, the customer earns interest as per the prevailing fixed deposit rates for that particular period. In simple words

1. You decide the maximum amount that you want in your account. This is also called the threshold limit.
2. The amount for which the FDs need to be created, is decided
   
3. The tenure of these FDs, is decided.
   

After this, technology takes care of everything!

An Example?
Let’s understand this with the help of an example.
Vishnu deposits Rs 30,000 in his ‘Auto Sweep’-enabled savings account on Jan. 1, 2008. The defined threshold limit for his ‘Auto Sweep’ account is Rs 10,000 while the minimum balance required by the bank is Rs 5,000. So, out of his total deposit, Rs 20,000 will go to the fixed deposit account which offers a higher rate of interest. (Presently, one-year deposits carry an interest rate of 8 per cent.) Vishnu withdraws Rs 15,000 on Jan. 1, 2009. Since he is already having Rs 10,000 in his savings account (assuming that he has not done any transaction in this period) and he has to maintain a minimum balance of Rs 5,000, he requires another Rs 10,000, which will be taken from his fixed deposit account. He earns 8 per cent on the deposit of Rs 10,000 (remaining amount in the fixed deposit account) unlike in normal savings account where he earns only 3.5 per cent. In case Vishnu withdraws all his deposits after a period, say, 5 months, he would be entitled to get the prevailing deposit rates for 5 months along with certain penalty (usually 1%), which in any case will be higher than 3.5 per cent, the current savings account rate.

Any Disadvantages?

• Amount must be transferred for a minimum period to avoid any penalty. E.g. If money stays at-least 3 months out of minimum period of 1 year, one may go for it.
• Some banks calculate simple interest in 'Auto sweep' unlike of cumulative interest on Fixed deposits.
  

So what is the conclusion?
With Auto Sweep facility, investors get the best of both worlds – they enjoy the liquidity of savings account and at the same time earn extra return from fixed deposit account. This is one of the best way to channelize and utilize one’s unused savings, especially meant for salaried people who often end up with some idle money in their savings accounts. So, if your savings accounts are still not activated for the auto sweep facility, ask your bank officials to enable it for the threshold limit as desired by you or to the bank’s minimum threshold limit.

Other sources?

• ICICI bank http://www.icicibank.com/pfsuser/temp/tcbank_rules_regu.htm