Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Rajnikanth deadly stories

1. RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
........ LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA!!!!!!!!!!


2. RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITS!!!!!!


3. GOVERNMENT OF INDIA PAYS TAX TO RAJANIKANTH FOR LIVING IN INDIA!!!!!!!


4. DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN RAJANIKANTH STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON. THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE.........!!!!!


5. RAJANIKANTH WOKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDED HE SHOULD SHARE ATLEAST ONE PERCENT OF HIS KNOWLEDGE WITH THE WORLD......

THUS....................... THE GOOGLE WAS BORN!!!!


6. THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF RAJANI WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????

BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE....


7. BEST RAJANI JOKE!!!!!!   EVEN GHAJINI REMEMBERS RAJANI!!!!


8. AN EMAIL WAS SENT FROM MYSORE TO BANGALORE ....
RAJANIKANTH STOPPED IT AT MANDYA !!!


9. WHY DO EARTHQUAKE OCCURS?????
BECAUSE AT THAT TIME RAJANIKANTH'S MOBILE IS ON VIBRATION MODE!!!!!!!!!


10. ONCE RAJANIKANTH BUNKED A WHOLE DAY IN SCHOOL.....!
SINCE THEN THAT DAY IS KNOWN AS ..............................  SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


11. THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY.................................
..........RAJANIKANTHS PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!


12. BREAKING NEWS : ISRO DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE.....!!
RAJANIKANTH PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI CELEBRATION!!!!!!!


13. WHY DID RAJANI BUY AN ACRE OF LAND WTH 4 WELLS ON EACH CORNER????? ....................... TO PLAY CARROM!!!!!!


14. BEFORE TOM CRUISE, RAJANI WAS APPROACHED FOR THE MOVIE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, BUT RAJANI REFUSED AS HE FOUND THE TITLE INSULTING..


15. RAJNIKANTH'S NEXT PROJECT. TITANIC IN TAMIL. CLIMAX REVISED. BOTH SURVIVE. RAJNIKANT SWIMS ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN WITH HEROINE IN ONE HAND AND... TITANIC IN THE OTHER.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

शीला की जवानी

'शीला की जवानी' गीत का भावार्थ- एक महान शोध विचारक की हृदय-उद्वेलित व्याख्या !!!

प्रस्तुत उत्तेजक गीत हिन्दी फिल्म जगत के नवीनतम रत्न 'तीस मार खान' से लिया गया है. यह गाना नायिका के संगमरमर जैसे शरीर से आकर्षित होने वाले लंगोट के ढीले पुरुषों पर नायिका की अपमानजनक प्रतिक्रया को व्यक्त करता है. नायिका उन्हें सीधे और कटु शब्दों में बताना चाहती है कि शीशे के पीछे रसगुल्ले की ख्वाहिश करना एक बात है और उसे चखना दूसरी बात!

I know you want it
But you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
Maane na maane koi duniya
Yeh saari, mere ishq ki hai deewani


गीत का आरंभ में नायिका के सत्य निष्ठ एवम ईमानदारीपूर्ण वक्तव्य से होती है. वो जानती है कि इन पुरूषों को उसकी भावनाओं, हृदय एवं प्रेम से कोई सरोकार नहीं. वो तो केवल एक ही वस्तु चाहते हैं. पर वो उन्हें मिलने वाली नहीं. उन्हें मुंह में भर आये पानी से ही अपनी प्यास बुझानी होगी. दुर्भाग्यपूर्ण, परन्तु सत्य !!!!.

Hey hey, I know you want it
but you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
Maane na maane koi duniya
yeh saari Mere ishq ki hai deewani
Ab dil karta hai haule haule se
Main toh khud ko gale lagaun
Kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya
Main toh khud se pyaar jataun


नायिका पुनः दर्जनों पुरुषों में उसके प्रति जागृत वासना पर प्रकाश डालती है. वस्तुतः वह अपने आस-पास मंडराते छिछोरों को सूचित करती है कि उनकी दाल नहीं गलने वाली! परन्तु साथ ही यहाँ नायिका के व्यक्तित्व का एक और पक्ष उजागर होता है. सौंदर्य से जागृत अहंकार का पक्ष!. वो अपनी सुन्दरता से इतनी प्रभावित है कि उसे किसी पुरुष की आवेश्यकता नहीं. वह अपने अन्दर की स्त्री के लिए स्वयं ही पुरुष बन जाना चाहती है. अब इसे अहंकार की पराकाष्ठा कहें या आत्म-प्रेम की मादकता!!!

what's my name
what's my name
what's my name
My name is Sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani
Na na na sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani


अब नायिका स्वयं का परिचय देती है. अपना नाम बताती है. और नाम भी ऐसा जो बूढ़ी नसों के लिए वायाग्रा का स्राव करे. उनमें यौवन का झंझावात एवं ज्वार ला दे. नाम बताने के साथ वो यह भी बताती है कि वो बहुत ही अधिक मादक एवं सेक्सी है. वात्सल्य एवं मादकता पर उसका अपने मुंह मियाँ मिट्ठू बनना एवमं कोरे गर्व से अभिभूत होना कितना न्यायोचित है??. इस आत्म-प्रशंसा में भी अहंकार की गंध है. वह स्वयं को को इतना अधिक मादक वर्णित करती है कि वह सबकी पहुँच से बाहर है. एक ऐसे चन्द्रमा की तरह है जिसकी चांदनी तो सर्व उपलब्ध है, पर उस चन्द्रमा को स्पर्शमात्र भी असंभव है तथा उसे अनूभव एवं महसूस करना किसी के बस की नहीं. स्पष्तः, यहाँ यह परि लक्छित होता है है कि नायिका सौंदर्य की साधक ही नहीं, बल्कि अहंकार से भरी चुड़ैल भी है.

Take it on
Take it on
Take it on
Take it on


अब नायिका सीधे शब्दों में चुनौती देती है. एक ऐसी चुनौती जो संभवतः मर्दों में बिना मदिरा के भी पोरूष बल तथा परम साहस ला दे.
Silly silly silly silly boys
O o o you're so silly
Mujhe bolo bolo karte hain
O o oHaan jab unki taraf dekhun,
baatein haule haule karte hain
Hai magar, beasar mujh par har paintra


अब नायिका उनका उपहास करती है. उन्हें मूर्ख कहकर सम्भोधित करती है. उन्हें ज़लील करती है. वो मर्द नायिका के बारे में गुप-चुप बातें कर सकते हैं, पर उसके सामने जुबां नहीं खोल पाते. वासना और कायरता का ये अद्भुत संगम है.

Haye re aise tarse humko
Ho gaye sober se re
Sookhey dil pe megapan ke
teri nazariya barse re
I know you want it
but you never gonna get it
Tere haath kabhi na aani
SheelaSheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani
Na na na sheela
Sheela ki jawani
I'm just sexy for you
Main tere haath na aani


यहाँ अंततः वासना से मदहोश पुरुष कुछ बोलने की दुस- साहस जुटाते हैं. वह धीमे स्वर में अपनी इच्छा की अभिव्यक्ति करते हैं. वह बोलते हैं कि नायिका का फिसलती हुई मादक काया , उनके बंजर दिलों में प्रेम का अंकुर ला रहा है. मानो नायिका को उनकी असली इच्छा का पता ही नहीं. इसलिए वह उन्हें पुनः स्मारित करती है कि दिन में स्वप्नदर्शन छोड़ दें.
यह तथाकथित मादक एवं ख़ूबसूरत गीत आज ही नहीं, चिर काल से चली आ रही नर और नारी की कोरी मानसिकता को उजागर करता है. नारी हज़ारों घंटे श्रृंगार और व्यायाम में बिताकर इस लायक दिखती है कि पुरुष उस पर गिद्ध जैसी द्र्ष्टि डालें. परन्तु जब वो नज़रें डालते हैं तो नायिका उन्हें चूजा सिद्ध कर देती है. नर भी कम कुटिल नहीं!! अपितु वह नारी के शारीरिक आकर्षण के सामने स्वयं का आपा खो बैठते हैं. फलतः ,जब उद्द्वेलित वासना, शिखर पर होती है तो सहसा अप्रत्याशित रूप से ... साहस लुकाछिपी का खेल खेल रहा होता है!!! उपरोक्त के दृष्टिगत ऐसे में इस परकार के विशिष्ट महा मिलन हो भी तो कैसे हो?प्रश्न जटिल है!
इसी प्रश्न के साथ यह गीत श्रोताओं और दर्शकों (आम भाषा में छिछोरों )के मन में एक कसक/कुंठा छोड़ जाता है.
जिसका निराकरण उपरोक्त के द्रष्टिगत निकट भविष्य में संभव प्रतीत नहीं होना परि लक्छित है !!


अंततः हम सभी शोध कर्ता, सम्यक चर्चित विषय तथा छिछोरों के समस्याओं पर सम्यक वर्णित एवं विशिष्ट बुद्धिमत्ता पूर्वक, अति विचारणीय व्याख्या पर उस महान शोधार्थी को शत - शत नमन करते हैं ! !

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Correct Way of Eating Fruit



We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think It's important to know how and when to eat..

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! - FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

If you eat fruit on an empty stomach, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD - Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit.. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.
In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid.. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining - every time I eat water-melon I burp, when I eat durian (fruit from Asia with a foul smell yet delicious flavor) my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet etc. - actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes - all these will not happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans.. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste.
Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

KIWI: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.


APPLE: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoid which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.



STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.


ORANGE: Sweetest medicine, eating 2 to 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.


WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.


GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.



Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can you believe this??

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Source : A mail from friend. Please confirm with other sources before any major changes in your food cycle

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

IDFC : Long Term Infrastructure Bonds open for 2011

[Update] IDFC bonds for 2011 is opened again on 21st Nov'2011 and closing date is 16th Dec'2011.
This year IDFC is offering interest rate of 9% on both the series.

Specific terms for each series of Tranche 1 Bonds ( details )

Series12
Frequency of Interest paymentAnnualCumulative
Face value (Rs) per Tranche 1 BondRs. 5,000Rs. 5,000
Issue Price (Rs) per Tranche 1 BondRs. 5,000Rs. 5,000
Buy-back facilityYesYes
Buy-back amountRs5,000 per Tranche 1 BondRs7,695 per Tranche 1 Bond
Buy-back intimation periodThe period beginning not before nine months prior to the Buy-back Date and ending not later than six months prior to BuybackThe period beginning not before nine months prior to the Buy-back Date and ending not later than six months prior to Buyback
Tenor120 months from the Deemed Date of Allotment120 months from the Deemed Date of Allotment
Interest Rate9% p.a.N.A
Maturity AmountRs5,000 per Tranche 1 BondRs11,840 per Tranche 1 Bond
Yield on maturity9 %9% compounded annually
Yield on Buyback9 %9% compounded annually


[Last Year]
As I specified about Long Term Infrastructure Bonds investment this financial year previously, IDFC has open the IPO for the same which is closing on 22nd October. IDFC is looking to raise up to 3,400 crore this financial year. The bonds come with a lock-in period of five years and a maturity of 10 years, which has been issued in 4 different series:
  • Series 1 - Pays 8% interest annually.
  • Series 2 - Pays 8% interest annually as well, but the interest will keep getting reinvested into the bond.
  • Series 3 - Pays 7.5% interest annually, but comes with a buyback option.
  • Series 4 - Pays 7.5% interest which gets reinvested into the bond, and comes with a buyback option.
Note, in series 3 and 4, Buyback option is available after "5 years + 1 day" from the deemed date of allotment.
GOI owns 20.08% in the company, so IMO it is very much safe for the investments. ICRA has given the IDFC bonds an LAAA rating, which is the highest rating that an infra bond can get.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Long Term Infrastructure Bonds

Union Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee had announced a new tax deduction (Section 80CCF) of 20,000 INR for investment made into special infrastructure related bonds in 2010-11 budget. Some of the key feaures and notification are as follow:
  • This bonds will be called “Long Term Infrastructure Bond”
  • Application can be by individual or HUF only but not by minor through Guardians.
  • An Individual or HUF can invest Rs. 20,000/- in a Financial year to avail deduction under section 80CCF
  • Rs. 20000/- limit is in addition to 100000/- limit of section 80C, 80CCC, 80CCD
  • Tenure of the Bonds will be 10 Years.
  • Lock-in period is 5 years, after 5 years investor can withdraw money from the bonds
  • After lock-in period, Investor can take loan against these Bonds.
  • Self attested PAN copy of 1st holder is compulsory.
  • Bonds are not tax free. Interest is taxable in the hands of investor. But no TDS will be deducted from interest.
  • Demat is compulsory. Joint holders can apply as per same order of Demat a/c . Application without demat a/c details will be rejected.
  • Minimum Application  amount is Rs 5000/- & multiples there off for each option.
  • Maximum benefit to an investor shall be Rs. 20,000/- under section 80CCF of the Income Tax Act, 1942
As of now, available offering in the section are from IFCI (Industrial Finance Corporation of India) & IDFC (Infrastructure Development Finance Corporation).

Monday, September 13, 2010

Fixed Deposits Interest rate comparison

Updated Regularly - Latest, recent

Banks started increasing Interest Rates on the fixed deposits again.  Most of them are already effective if you open a new one. Here are the links to have a quick view:

Thursday, June 17, 2010

File Income Tax yourself

It is time to file income tax for the last financial year. There are many online & offline services to file return on behalf of you just in exchange of 250-300 INR. However, people need to run behind them even after they file the tax for the acknowledgement and all, which takes quite time, though you free yourself from the hassle of financial complexity to understand Form-16 and information except salaried income, like income from other sources, short term gains, TDS (tax deducted at sources), income from Employee stocks options etc.
However, If you pay a little more attention to the article, you will find that filing Tax is not that complex either. Income Tax of India, provies xls utiilities supported by different Macros, which automatically do the validations for your inputs & provide a list of options for a certain fields with validate & non-validate information. Tax can be filed using this facilities in the following steps:
  1. Open https://incometaxindiaefiling.gov.in/
  2. Go to e-filling A.Y. 2010-11 => Individual, HUF
  3. Go to "Download Return Preparation Software" section and download the relevant form e.g. ITR-1 for Salaried
  4. Be ready with Form-16 (salary info, TAN, Employer info etc), TDS etc forms, if Any & PAN Card number
  5. Fill up the excel and do the validation before moving to next sheet in the xls
  6. Generate xml after validating all the fields.
  7. Upload the XML to the same site.
  8. A version of the IT return form will be given to you.
  9. If form is not submitted with a valid digital signature, take a printout
  10. Mail it to the CPC office, after putting
  11. Check for a confirmation at given email id as well
  12. Your acknowledgement will be mailed to you later.
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